Wednesday, November 26, 2014
This one nailed it so hard. Mine did this all the time. She convinced everyone I was crazy. Team this up with some gas-lighting and cunning manipulation and what a mess! Mine actually would ironically shout, "You need to see a counselor!" even though she never has darkened the door of a counselor's office in her entire life. This is the top technique on how they get the flying monkeys and betraying bystanders to turn on you. Mine would of course deny things right in front of your face. She would tell me things had not happened that did. It was constant lies and crazy making. Even now in NC I am even examining things I was told, knowing I cannot believe anything unless I saw it directly for myself!
So add another one to the list wanting money we don't have and add that to the mega tax debt. The whirlpool into the financial abyss seems never ending. Well one advantage of homelessness is no servers at your door.
I hate money more and more, to me it's become a joke, like the magic green stuff that vanishes into thin air. They seem to want me to be like a magician snapping my fingers for it to show up, how am I supposed to do all of this? The demands are insane. I am surprised we have made it this long. At least I can get medical care but this is one reason America is going down the tubes. Many people are getting crushed. I know the hands out for the cash of the better off then me never end however I still see the people too who have lives and vacations I never could dream of. If I had money though I would not be blowing it on cruises and being stuck in a floating prison tin-can with 4,000 souls--my idea of a nightmare.
What would life be free of money-burdens. Definitely a lot happier. Time to become a freegan? Move in with someone? I can't stand to be without my own household. Absolutely cannot stand it, even if it would mean less pressure on us both. I am free of my family but no one is lining up for the job and I hate having roommates and would never burden friends this way so our only option is to keep paying these impossible bills. The pot is empty Mr. Lawsuit! Can I join the Hutterites or something? Would they take a near elderly couple with messed up bodies?
Religious morality supercedes my idea once voiced under duress, that we each go get a sugar-parent, no sugar daddy for me! One can't divorce someone they love even if they are dead broke on either side. Divorce only makes you poorer! Two Aspies [he doesn't admit he is an Aspie] suck at "life skills". Many of the normals have broken the code of actually making a decent living but my body can only do so much. The hours to stay alive are many, it takes me longer to do things people take for granted. Time for me is a rushing river. I'm not someone who "gets bored".
My husband is constantly writing only to lose work via contract employers, that always happens during the holidays. I think he is stumped on how to improve things too. Problem is life coaches cost money. Maybe they should have a special brand of them for the poor to help us get our lives in order. The psychological counselors, will pass out the pills but really can't help you if your main problem is lack of the green stuff. I'm trying to get him to go to career counselors for a new action plan or something. I need to make pin money on etsy or something, but need to figure out how to get more craft supplies. My comic could be sold on there perhaps but is still in progress. Too bad nothing is selling on ebay, it's gotten bad.
For the poor the holidays are not a shopping spree full of rich food and parties, and presents but when one's income usually drops. I have never gone shopping on a black Friday with the stampeding idiots. Most poor people secretly hate the holidays, they may try to do what they can for their kids but most of us just want the annual greed fests to be OVER. Thanksgiving I am cool with but the rest of it forget it.
We are down to just so much for the last week of November. I bought the turkey three weeks ago, to make sure we would have one, as well as the boxes of stuffing, a can of green beans, and rutabagas but planning a Thanksgiving feast in a week of major food insecurity feels weird. We even ate a charity cabbage I got from the monthly church soup kitchen mixed in two meals of rice noodles and I made 4 meals out of a package of chicken thighs this week. I am so tired of cooking it's not funny but frugality this month has demanded endless from scratch cooking such as the soups made with parsnips. I can cook anything now. I could be a chef if I was in good shape. I wonder if I can make an apple tart with olive oil? Can one make hummus out of dried garbanzo beans and peanut butter? I suppose the internet can tell me.
My friends help me out all the time, I am very thankful to them. They keep me going. They don't realize how much. Man we are so tired.
We need a break! We are far overdue. I told one friend I am so tired, if everything collapses, maybe I would be relieved. Maybe some take to the streets to escape the bill marathon. I wonder. I want to feel hope again. So many years of struggle JUST TO STAY ALIVE.
I was so upset yesterday, after he got the papers. My husband told me "Calm down, or you are going to stroke out". The last thing we needed was this guy suing us. His own too fast driving caused the accident to begin with. I wasn't there, I was home when it happened. Did he want some cash for shopping or something? He's gone to an empty well!
See: Materialism, Crushed by Bills and Baby Boomers
Monday, November 24, 2014
Yes there was a time before the Internet, I remember those days. It is good the internet did not exist when I was in college and in high school, I would have flunked out! We had a small bulletin board on our computers in college and my hours on that added up. How is the internet changing everyone's life? Maybe we are living life via screens too much. This is where I get those dreams of getting in the time machine but the access to information is so much greater. No more fumbling through phone books, up to the minute weather reports. Now we can find the friends we had when we were 12. I think of the days before the internet and how very different they were.