Friday, January 6, 2017

WWYD: Fat Shaming a Daughter



 This is pretty common. I once saw a mother buy one thin daughter a giant sub and french fries and yell at a fat daughter for wanting a bowl of soup.  She cried over having too little to eat. I said something, and told her she was mean to her daughter. Sometimes in those instances I have heard "Do you want to look like her?". I am glad the one guy speaks up but I know if I was there, I'd say "Why are you hanging out in a donut shop if you are so concerned?"

For fat kids with thin siblings life can be one fat shaming moment after another especially with narcissists in the mix. You find out fast, the thinner children are far more valued. I saw a difference even in how my mother treated my sister's children who were all thin compared to my brother's more plump children. My sister even got her own goldfish crackers for lunch. I wasn't allowed to eat them. That was kind of weird for years watching her eat those goldfish crackers and I wasn't allowed to touch any of them. I had some as an adult later and thought they were bland and gross but at the time as a kid I wanted to eat a few. She got them in her school lunch too. She also had her cereal none of us other kids were allowed to touch. These girls are actresses but many kids are living that scenario with a thin sibling in the house.

7 comments:

  1. Watching just that clip made my blood pressure climb.

    I'm so sorry you had similar experiences.

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    1. Me too. I've seen this in real life too, as a recipient and between strangers, it happens a lot. Sometimes I think some women don't deserve to have any kids especially 2-3-4 of them where they can pick one or two and dispose of others.

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  2. That is one mean narc mother, indeed. Agreed...if she is so concerned about her daughter's weight why is she in a bloody donut store? Maybe she should hang out at Whole Foods:). And maybe the girl has a thyroid disorder, being the reason for her weight gain. Did ignorant mom check for that? It could be medical neglect, which ignorant mom is trying to control with donuts!

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    1. Yeah Kittiestravel, she is mean to the core. I know, why is she in a stupid donut store? Reminds me of my mother making 5 lbs of chocolate bark with almonds and 3 dozen cookies and then getting in a rage for me eating a piece of it. Most of it was meant for the "office" not us. Yes she could take her daughter to "whole foods" and let her choose from a salad bar or other organic store. I actually hate donuts, pieces of fluff with sugar and nothing to them. Well think about me, there I was racing into stage 1 and 2 Lipedema and well nothing was being done. I wonder when a girl like that is fat, and those around her are so thin, she looks like she could have PCOS too which needs treatments.

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  3. Peep, this is what narcs do, engage in medical neglect. I'm so sorry you were not brought to a doctor for Lipedema. Utterly disgusting & it only could be a Cluster B. I have stories of medical neglect in Nfamily as well.

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    1. I wonder what would have happened if I got diagnosed early on, even if the PCOS had been dealt with or asthma the trajectory of my life could have been very different. One aunt told me, that she told my mother to take me to a doctor and she refused. Yeah reading ACON message boards, medical neglect is definitely a theme with them. It's terrible people faced it in your family too.

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    2. Peep, I'm just starting to put the pieces together as far as my parents negligence that ended in death for their cat & my grandmother. A complete non-nonchalant attitude...I was even told by the vetenarian when I was taking care of my parent's cat that they neglected to give poor kitty her medication instructed by him. And my dear grandmother is another tragic story, I will save for another time.

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